


it's all in the timing

by CerinityKS



Series: as it begins [2]
Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - All Media Types, The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Dreams vs. Reality, Fluff and Angst, Gen, M/M, Pining, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-24
Updated: 2015-09-24
Packaged: 2018-04-23 03:24:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4861166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CerinityKS/pseuds/CerinityKS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In his dreams, Chris Beck didn’t have to pretend. In his dreams, Chris could have everything he couldn’t in real life.</p><p>Like Mark Watney.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's all in the timing

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from "new romantics" by taylor swift 
> 
> next part of my newly minted beckwatney series, fics won't be written in chronological order, but I'll try to make it so that it won't necessarily be required to read the other fics in the series to understand wtf is happening

In his dreams, Chris Beck didn’t have to pretend. In his dreams, Chris could have everything he couldn’t in real life.

Like Mark Watney. 

If anyone was asked, they would all unanimously say that Chris Beck was in love with Beth Johanssen. It was one of those ‘open secrets’ in that everyone knew, but no one talked about it. Those guys wouldn’t be completely wrong either; Chris _did_ like Beth – she was amazing. Chris dared anyone to be around her for more than ten minutes and _not_ be enamored with her. 

It’s just that while Chris _liked_ Beth, he _loved_ Mark. 

And _that_ Chris had managed to keep secret. 

No one would guess, looking at him and the way he interacted with the botanist, that he would be head over heels for Mark Watney. 

_“Can’t you see I’m trying to read? Heathen, oh my god Chris no, s-stop!” Mark laughed and squirmed in Chris’s hold, desperately trying to get away from teasing lips and tickling fingers._

_“C-Chris!” Mark managed to maneuver his way out of Chris’s arms, book held tightly in one hand while the other was held out to ward off Chris._

_Chris smirked, pleased with himself. Mark had been in kind of a slump lately and not smiling as much, listless compared to his usual energetic nature, and Chris was honestly sick of it._

_Mark was smiling now though, a light flush on his cheeks as he narrowed his eyes at his boyfriend. “Just what are you playing at Beck?”_

_“Me? Absolutely nothing,” Chris blinked innocently as he inched forward slowly. Mark snorted and backed up just as slowly, eyes bright even as they eyed him suspiciously._

Chris could still remember the first time he met Mark – it’d been years ago, after Ares 1 had returned but before Ares 2 had left. The Ares 3 crew hadn’t been announced to the public yet, but they’d been picked for six months at least already. NASA’d had them come in to introduce the crew to each other, and Chris had been so excited. 

He was going to get to go to Mars! It had been his dream to go since the Ares program had been announced over a decade ago, and he’d made it happen. 

When Mark had entered the room, Chris remembered he hadn’t been able to look away. Mark had been unnaturally shy at that first meeting, like he couldn’t believe he was in the right place and was afraid that someone would come in at any minute and tell him they’d made a mistake, he wasn’t really going to Mars after all. 

So Chris had kicked out the chair next to him and gestured for Mark to sit down, and then. Then – Mark had _smiled_ , so fucking brightly, and Chris had been lost. 

Of course NASA didn’t allow relationships between astronauts, _especially_ if they were going on a manned mission together, so Chris steeled himself and resolved that he wouldn’t mention a thing to Watney about his feelings. 

(honestly, the only reason people seemed to be okay with the fact that he liked Beth was that one, they were all assholes and figured he didn’t stand a chance with her _anyway_ , and two, they all knew that Chris cared about their mission too much to attempt anything and potentially fuck it all up, so everyone just turned a blind eye) 

So Chris pretended around Mark, and at night when he slept, things were different. 

_“I’m trying to read,” Mark attempted to reason, but Chris just cocked a brow and gestured to the book silently, a copy of Mark’s favorite book that was clearly well-loved and well-read. The flush on Mark’s face deepened, just a bit, and Chris grinned triumphantly._

_“That doesn’t- ah!” Mark yelped as Chris pounced, sending the two of them crashing down on the conveniently place bed in their bedroom. Mark desperately tried to weasel his way out of Chris’s grasp, but Chris was too quick, fingers and lips moving in synch, and slowly Mark’s laughter turned to moans as Chris quickly divested him of his shirt and pajama pants with quick movements._

In his dreams Chris was free to lavish as much attention on Mark as he wanted, could love him like he wished (like he though Mark _deserved_ to be loved), but then he’d wake up (sometimes achingly hard) and face reality. 

It _hurt_ , oh god it hurt sometimes, to be so close to Mark and have to pretend to feel nothing but friendship for the older man. Some days it was easier than others. 

On Earth it was easiest, but then Ares 2 was back and Ares 3 was being sent out, and suddenly he was around Mark _all the time_. 

Chris and Mark got to know each other better than ever while on the Hermes, and while Chris fell deeper down the rabbit hole, Mark appeared to only think of Chris as a friend. He figured, maybe, after spending so much time together, _maybe_ Mark might start to feel differently. If Chris got even a _hint_ that Mark liked him he resolved that, as soon as they were back on Earth, he’d say something. 

Mark had never shown any sort of interest in Chris though, and Chris had looked, he really had. So he filed his feelings as unrequited and tried to move on, determined to never say anything to Mark. 

Until Sol 5 on Mars. 

“There is no way, you’re fucking with us!” Mark laughed, and everyone laughed with him. 

They were eating dinner, or what passed for dinner on Mars (as provided by NASA), and talking about embarrassing moments in their past. 

“You seriously said that to her in front of the entire student body?” Beth had a look of admiration and sympathy on her face. 

Martinez just nodded and shrugged. “I’d liked her for years and my friends were sick of me pining, so they dared me to confess to her at morning assembly. She turned me down flat, of course, but it was worth it,” he grinned. 

“Man, I could never do that,” Chris shook his head. “Confess without knowing if the feelings are returned? I’d be terrified, especially in front of others.” 

“You don’t think it’d be worth it?” Mark questioned, an odd look on his face. 

Chris thought over his answer carefully, aware of the way everyone (especially Mark) was staring at him. “It’s not that I don’t think it’d be worth it, I just think that I’d prefer to know ahead of time if there was any chance of the other person returning my feelings before getting too hopeful. I’d want to know if I stood any chance,” he explained. 

Mark nodded thoughtfully before he grinned at Chris. “Well, if it’s any consolation, I think you should go for it, you never know, you might be surprised,” and the way he _said_ it, the way he _looked_ at Mark, made his breath catch in his chest and his heart skip a beat. 

Was Mark-? 

But then the moment was over, Martinez cracking a joke, and Chris completely missed the looks exchanged by Mark, Martinez, Vogel, and Melissa as they looked between Chris and Beth. 

It was then and there that Chris made a split-second, impulse decision - when they got back to Earth he _would_ say something to Mark. 

They only had 25 more sols on Mars left and then the trip back to Earth. Chris could wait that long to tell Mark how he really felt. 

They both had the rest of their lives ahead of them after all, what was a few more months in the grand scheme of things? 

_“Chris,” Mark panted, book now lying forgotten on the bedspread. Chris grinned triumphantly as he pressed his lips to that sweet spot just underneath Mark’s jaw._

_“Sorry, should I let you finish reading now?”_

_Chris made to move back but Mark yanked him back down with a fierce glare and a growled “don’t you fucking dare” before he crashed their lips together._

_Chris shivered and pressed himself more fully against Mark, the low thrum of arousal that’d been present since he’d seen Mark lounging in their room and reading so intently flaring brighter._

_“I love you, Chris,” Mark breathed, one hand twined in Chris’s hair as he grinned against the skin of Chris’s jaw, nipping at that same spot a moment later._

_Chris had never felt happier than he had at this moment. “I love you too, Mark,” he swore, and he knew that whatever happened, that would always hold true._

**Author's Note:**

> find [this](http://rinnielove.tumblr.com/post/129748549051/its-all-in-the-timing) and [me](http://rinnielove.tumblr.com/) over on tumblr x


End file.
